Everyone has experienced a child in their daycare who was disruptive, but sometimes it can get out of hand to the point that you want to terminate. A daycare owner asked: “I have a 3 year old boy who will not leave all the other children alone. He is constantly touching pinching and bugging them. I am always role modeling appropriate behavior, using time out and talking about it after appropriate amount of time. Telling him how the others feel, using positive reinforcement. It has been going on for over a year. Suggestions?” We asked the fans of OwnADaycare on Facebook who are daycare owners for their opinions on this matter. Here are some of the best answers from our daycare owners.
- Sounds like he is a tactile learner. He needs to touch things/people all the time. Sometimes it helps to have a special something to hold. Then you have to work on teaching him about other people’s space. Use a hula hoop or laundry to simulate the invisible space. You can also teach him to ask people if he can hug/touch others before he does it. It will take him time to learn.
- I had a similar issue. I had a child who over many months kept hitting, hair pulling & finally biting the other children. I spoke with the mother many times about it. I put the child in time out more times than I can count. But nothing worked. It wasn’t the parents fault. It wasn’t my fault. It was just something the child was going through. Finally I had to give notice to terminate. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my daycare but as it turns out, it was the best thing. The child is doing much better in a different environment & the children in my care are no long being hurt. Sometimes a child is just too comfortable where they are to fear punishment or the scorn of the other children. She’s doing much better in her new placement & my worries are over.
- Does he also tend to be very busy? Climb when told not to? Talk more or louder than the others? If so might want to consider having him evaluated. Also some kids have sensory issues and since they “feel” differently than others they tend to not be able to understand that it might bug others. I think I would start by teaching the group about how to nicely tell people when they don’t like something. “Johnny I don’t like you leaning on me” “Suzy Please don’t shout it hurts my ears” This is a good skill for everyone to have, and it can give them the ability to teach him to back off, as well as giving you the verbal clues to when it does bug the kids. Also I would start activities that had strong boundaries. Like table toys on a tray are for one child at a time. The puzzle on the bath mat on the floor is only for two kids. Whatever works for you. And lastly I would make a quiet one person spot, where if he is being too much for a child they can get away and have some space for a few minutes.
- I had one that was like that and he has a sensory perception disorder. After therapy he was so much better. He didn’t understand that he was hurting people.
- I had one like that and I finally terminated. He was getting really abusive with the other children. I was so stressed out, and it just wasn’t worth it anymore. IMO over a year is way too long to be putting up with that kind of behavior. It’s not fair to you or to the other children in your care.
- Sensory disorder for sure. It may just be a mild form that will go without diagnosis. I am certain that my third child has this and they just don’t know about bumping others, didn’t feel it. His threshold is greater than the “norm” so he seeks out stimuli to satisfy the natural need for the sense of touch and raise the baseline in his processing center of his brain. Document the “little things” and after a week inform the parents of what you see. OFFER him sensory appropriate materials, maybe headphones with music, lots of physical games of jumping, rolling in the grass, a clean soft brush on his arm or legs (pretend he is a pet at the groomers) may soothe him. Get creative!
- Have you talked with the parents about this? Does the child have other siblings? I find with some kids consistency is needed both at home & daycare.
- I use small treats like skittles or m&m’s and reward the kids with just one here and there when their being good and it seems to really make an impact on the non-listeners because they want that treat. I try to pick the times when the non-listener is listening. Although, they will pick up on it real quick when they don’t get a treat and the behavior will fade away with the incentive. After the first couple of weeks of the year I don’t even need treats to get them to listen. However, I do still use them here and there and they never get so many that it impacts their ability to sit in circle time.
- This child may not understand parameters and personal space. I had a child that would constantly brush up against the children as if he were a cat. It actually bothered me more than the children. After I stopped paying so much attention to his cat like action and the children told him the behavior actually just stopped on its own.
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