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Continued from The Power of Words in Daycare Part 1.

This leads me to manners, and our “please and thank-you”.  For years I thought it was just mandatory that we “expect” a child to say please and thank-you.  In fact if you notice many of us demand it.  If you are at a birthday party and a child wants some more cake their Mom will more often than not say, “Did you say please” or “did you say thank-you.  Of course, this is my job and has been my job to teach manners as a parent and a provider.

A few years ago I did an updated ECE (Early Childhood Education) course.  It came to a module on teaching manners and the first thing I read was,  An educator, parent or provider should NEVER expect or demand a child to say please or thank-you.  I was appalled.  I have been doing this for 13 years at that point, a mother for 14 years.  I have worked in Daycare centers, I have owned my own daycare and have taught and facilitated a preschool program.  This idea that we shouldn’t expect a child to say please or thank-you.  I do expect children to be polite and I do expect them to say please or thank-you!   However, I have changed my theory and ideals behind this.  I thought, I will give it a try.  Now, I would not do it any other way.

The concept behind teaching children manners is that they are learning by example.  By doing this I must stay please and thank-you as often as the opportunity allows.   I now NEVER say “no” without saying “thank-you” and I never say yes, without saying “please”.   This took time, discipline (on my part) and constantly reminding myself this is for the greater benefit.  This has been a huge accomplishment as I have very polite children in my care.  I never ask or demand a please or a thank-you.  The word “no” is received much better with a respectful tone attached.   Babies respond to it better than, the harsh word…”No”.

I challenge providers to do this.  It will take time, however once you get the hang of it and over time it will come naturally for you and the children in your care.   I love after 15 years I can still find ways to perfect my craft.  This is my expertise; our days run smoother with words and positive reinforcement.   Praise is a better reward than any treat, prize, toy or privilege.  It is a reward with long lasting effects, the power of these words will be an impact on the lives of the children you are providing care now and for years to come.

My name is Louise Roberts, owner of Louise’s Day Home. I have been happily married to my high school sweetheart for almost 14 years.  I have 5 amazing kids. My mother has run a daycare for over 25 years.  So my passion for childcare has come quite honestly. In high school I did my work experience in a Daycare Centre achieving top scores and Honor’s while doing so. I did marry and have my first child young and started my Day home ASAP. I have been doing this ever since. Meanwhile, I ran and facilitated an early literacy preschool program in my community called the Magic Carpet Ride for 5 years. Through this opportunity I was able take and participate in variety workshops, courses and programs all preschool relevant.

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Basic logic tells us that when a baby cries that must mean he/she needs something.  Crying is a baby’s way of communication.  As a baby goes into the toddler stage they learn better means to communicate.  They may point, grunt, make faces or perhaps hit something.  As they start their preschool years they begin to widen their vocabulary and “use their words” however as we know and have experienced many times that often a preschooler  will forget their words and resort to their baby resource and cry.

A  three year old more often than not has words, they know how to use their words however they will believe if they cry/tantrum they will get what they need or want, that moment.  It is easy to soothe a three year old of their wants and needs, more so than infant.  This makes it a quick fix or an easy fix.  Here is that treat, or that toy.  You can’t do it, let me do it for you.  As if we, as adults forget that that child before you has words and is very capable of using them.  Believe me when I tell you that if you remember that one thing life with preschoolers (particularly a bunch of them) will run a whole lot smoother, guarantee.

It is a constant reminder in my daycare to use your words and often a situation can be defused just with that quick reminder that I understand what you want much better when you “use your words”, your friends understand you much better when you, “use your words”.  Using your words (all preschoolers what to be an example, the “big kid” if you will) teaches the babies to use their words.  Simply reminding the preschoolers in your care that the reason the babies and toddlers in your care cry is because they haven’t learned their words yet and it’s our job to teach them.   The few phrases I will use, and the key is to be consistent is:

Show me your words.

What are your words?

I didn’t understand “those” words; do you have better words to show me?

Do you have words?

Remember, the word, “words” is key.   If I have a child having a time out and they are having a complete meltdown I will put my hand on their knee and gently say, “Show me your words”.  If this doesn’t work, then I will walk away reminding them that until you do “show me your words” you will need to remain in time-out.  If this (and usually it does) still doesn’t defuses the meltdown then I will kneel face to face with the child and let them know how important it is to “see their words”.  This is after a break.

If I have a sharing situation where children are fighting over a particular toy (remember time and practice is key) I will put my hand on the toy and tell them to “use their words”.  I will direct to one child, “G do you have some words for H”.  This usually results in G saying, “H, can I please play with the airplane”?  This usually ends in a beautiful response and respective behavior from the aggressor or the “toy snatcher”.  I will then praise both for “using their words” and making the right choices.

My name is Louise Roberts, owner of Louise’s Day Home. I have been happily married to my high school sweetheart for almost 14 years.  I have 5 amazing kids. My mother has run a daycare for over 25 years.  So my passion for childcare has come quite honestly. In high school I did my work experience in a Daycare Centre achieving top scores and Honor’s while doing so. I did marry and have my first child young and started my Day home ASAP. I have been doing this ever since. Meanwhile, I ran and facilitated an early literacy preschool program in my community called the Magic Carpet Ride for 5 years. Through this opportunity I was able take and participate in variety workshops, courses and programs all preschool relevant.

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Running your own day care center is a big step that you have taken. We all know how a business can really be a tricky venture to get into. This is why most business guides always tell you to plan ahead and make a clear business plan that you should follow. But being in the day care business for so long, I have found these tips very effective but are not the only things which you need to consider if you want to make it big in this business field.

Even if you may have the best business plan, you may still find that some of your clients are dissatisfied with the way that you are handling your business. A day care is very important for parents since they are allowing you to take care of their child. One of the things which parents do look at when they look for a day care is not only the day care plans which you have, but your ability to communicate. Communication is very important when it comes to a day care center because this allows the parents to make sure that their child is in good hands in a day care center. You should always make sure that from the start, you establish a good communication path with your clients.

The first time that you are going to meet the parents, it will be because they would want to know more about your day care. This is the chance that you should take in order for you to establish good communication with your clients. You need to show them the rules and policies of your day care. As parents, they would want to know everything there is about your day care including these guidelines. This will open room for questions about these policies so that you will be able to clear thing out with the parents should they have any questions about these things.

When you are meeting with them, you should make sure that you do your part in asking the parents too. You might think that since they are the ones who will be enrolling their child, they should be the one to ask you about your day care. This is not the case, you too should ask them about certain habits that their family is used to as well as their needs when it comes to a day care. This can actually give you an idea on what kind of care you should be giving their child when they enroll him there. This is very important since this will make the parents feel that you are willing to work with them in both ways.

It is always recommended that you always keep the parents updated with the activities of the day care. You may not call them all the time, but you can always send newsletters or email updates to the parents. They will pretty much appreciate these things especially that they know what is happening to the day care even if they are not there. This will be a great step to ensuring that your clients know that your communication lines are open for them. Since they do want a day care provider who will be able to address to their questions about their child’s needs, you nee dto provide this to them.

This also applies when the children are picked up by their parents. Never ever start a conversation with them that will involve saying anything negative about your child. A conversation is best started on a positive note so that parents will always feel that their child is really doing great in the day care. You can tell them about what happened to their child and update them with the progress that he has been showing lately. On the other hand, if there is negative that you have to say, try to tell it in between the conversation and do not sound harsh, just mention that you are noticing that the child is beginning to be like this or like that. But do always reassure them that there is nothing to worry about as long as proper guidance is done. Always end with a positive tone when you talk to the parents. This will always lighten up the conversation.

If you have anything coming up for your day care, it is best on informing the parents a month or two before. These instances might be that you are closing down or raising fees for your day care. You should not shock them with any news like these so that they will still have a period of adjustment. Always notify them so that they will be able to act properly upon announcement of such. They will find it easier to adjust for a longer span of time rather than in a week or so because this might just cause them to panic.

If you want to know if your communication paths are effective, you should do a survey once or twice a year. This may be a written survey for parents to answer. You need to have these surveys so that you will be open to comments as well as suggestions on how you can improve on the communication that you have with your clients. Remember that a day care takes care of the their clients ad is a service-type of business so you have to make sure that you satisfy them as much as you are able to.

Communication is indeed very important when it comes to the success of your day care. Remember that this is not a one-way business. You need to cater to the needs of the children and you can only do this if you establish a good communication pathway for the parents. You will be able to know any specifications that they have for the children that you should be able to take note of. Running a business is not that hard. As long as you know how to take care of your clients, you will surely be successful in this field.

See: How to start a daycare business

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Being called a babysitter is considered degrading by most childcare provider and preschool teachers. Many of them have acquired education in their field and takes pride in providing these children with a curriculum at the same time providing tender loving care. To keep a quality relationship with these important people in your child’s life, you should not forget to address them as preschool teachers, childcare provider or as day care professionals.

If you want to give gifts, you may simply give individual cards to show your appreciation to each provider; however, you can give a single gift certificate or card for the center itself which they can use to buy something that they really need.

For instance, a gift certificate can be used to buy a battery operated light for the changing table in the toddler room. This way they can change diapers without waking up all the children in the room and make it easier for the staff and the children as well. Day care facilities are usually poorly funded and though they can be clean, bright and modern, they still tread on a fine financial line. That’s why giving gift card for the center would work as real boost. You may try getting certificates somewhere like WalMart and other discount stores so they can choice over the things they need to buy.

You should also find out from your provider if there is a parent’s regular group meeting. If none exists, you can start organizing a parent’s group for the purpose of communicating ideas, thoughts and concerns regarding the care of your children as well as the chance to get to know the families of the children your child plays with. You can schedule meetings at least once a month and usually, the center is happy to sponsor the meetings. Action groups can positively influence the quality of care provided and give valuable insight to both parents and staff as to what needs to be improved on the level of care. Even if the quality of care is already good, it doesn’t meant that they can’t be improved.

When you need to ask questions, be straight to the point. Providers should keep a communication log or daily report that can be helpful, and if they have none, don’t hesitate to suggest it. If they have and it is still not enough for you, don’t be afraid to ask what you need to know. It is their job to know and let you know.

And lastly, it is very important to maintain a good speaking term with the child’s provider and this should go beyond mere pleasantries. You may open a dialogue with your child’s carer and show your interest in knowing your child’s progress and your confidence in them as a daycare professional. Being open in communications allows you to have the earliest possible involvement in solving any issues that may arise as well as your carer’s confidence that they have your full support. This relationship can be easily started through constant greetings and helping your child to make cards for his carer on holidays and birthdays. Say hello to your child’s carer when you see them in public places, make them feel valued and happy as they would work harder and happier.

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