When it comes to the behavior of young children, the subject of manners is of concern to daycare and preschool staff. In preschool and daycare centers, early childhood educators are interested in understanding what is considered acceptable behavior in public, proper table manners and other manners of etiquette.
Johnny Castro, child development professor, answers a few questions about teaching manners to young children. answers a few questions about teaching manners to young children.
OwnADaycare: At what age is it best to begin teaching manners?
Johnny Castro: The word manners is a social and cultural construct, which means, it comes from our cultural upbringing. Therefore, people often start the process very early, even as young as 2 years of age. Children at this age can learn the very rudimentary “please and thank yous.” They, of course do not understand the reasons for being polite, but starting early is not a bad idea. By 3 to 5 years, they continue to be reinforced about manners, learning some of the, “we say excuse me, when you want to go around someone.”
OwnADaycare: Please describe what behaviors are appropriate for children age 3-5 in the various developmental areas.
Johnny Castro:
Meeting and greeting others.** This is okay when parents or an adult are there to cue the child. Especially with certain cultures and customs that may be unfamiliar; for example many Hispanic cultures offer a kiss on the cheek at a greeting and that may be uncomfortable for these age group.
Learning acceptable public behavior**These are okay to begin modeling and teaching, they need a bit of practice to perfect it of course. I have a nephew. For instance, when he was 4 years old had very good manners in public because his parents and grandparents had many opportunities to practice them in public settings.
Improving table manners: By 5 years of age children can be encourage to “remember their manners” to be “polite.” Of course, it should never be used to punish or force a child to be “polite.” By that, I mean, parents shouldn’t say, “You don’t get your snack until you say please.”
Developing friendship skills: Wow, it seems even adults need practice with this skill. Friendship development, in the sense of getting along with others and sharing can happen at around 4 to 5; but it is not until around 6 to even 8 years of age that children really know what it means to be a “friend.”
Part 2 of our interview with Johnny Castro may be found here.
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