When it comes to the behavior of young children, the subject of manners is of concern to daycare and preschool staff. In preschool and daycare centers, early childhood educators are interested in understanding what is considered acceptable behavior in public, proper table manners and other manners of etiquette.
In Part 2 of our interview, child development professor, Johnny Castro, answers a few questions about teaching manners to young children.
OwnADaycare: What behaviors should be taught to children ages 3-5 in various areas of development?
Johnny Castro:
Meeting and greeting others: “Hi my name is” is about the extent that this age group can handle. They are not too sure yet why someone else doesn’t know themJ. They are egocentric thinkers. Now, when parents shake hands and do other customary greetings, a child with a social temperament who chooses to do the same, can be nice and reinforced by the parent.
Learning acceptable public behavior: This one is a tough one to tackle; what works best with public behavior is having the parent explain to the child what is expected of them when they go _________. For example, at church we are expected to sit awhile and not talk out loud (depending on the church behavior). Explaining to children, at this restaurant we have to wait for people to bring food; we must use inside voices, etc.
Improving table manners: Practice and reinforce is the best method. “I want more French fries.” “Did you mean, ‘May I have more French fries, please’?” Of course, avoiding sarcastic tones. Reinforce the child when they use polite behaviors and manners on their own. “Wow, thanks for using your polite manners.”
Developing friendship skills: This is a loaded question and is almost its own topic. Friendship skills, such as sharing can be taught by encouraging “turn-taking, how many minutes do you need before it is her turn.”
OwnADaycare: Please provide some tips about teaching manners to 3-5 year olds such as games, lessons, strategies, etc. in those areas you mentioned.
Johnny Castro:
Meeting and greeting others: Role-play with stuffed animals, puppets and there are a lot of children’s books regarding manners.
Learning acceptable public behavior: Tea parties, dramatic play of a restaurant or store.
Improving table manners: See above, just practicing them is best.
OwnADaycare: What tips can you give to preschool teachers so that they can nip bad behavior in the bud, i.e., maintain proper decorum?
Johnny Castro: The same strategies above are helpful for teachers. Practice, model and reinforce children’s behaviors. I used to tell children in my classroom teaching days that my ears worked better when people were polite.
**Poor table manners require both direct and indirect teaching. See how we use a napkin to wipe our face, so our shirt won’t get dirty.
Part 1 of Johnny Castro’s interview can be found here.
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