Anyone who works in childcare or owns a daycare knows that infants and children will cry from time to time. But what if a child in your care cries nonstop? A daycare owner asks: “I have a baby in my care that I have had since she was 4 months old. She is now almost 8 months and every day all she does is cry all day long and it makes it so miserable for everyone else. I don’t know what to do! I don’t want it to reflect badly on my care provided – but I almost don’t want her here because all she does is cry.”
We asked the fans of OwnADaycare on Facebook who are daycare owners:
I think we all go through this. I had to do the same thing. I did let the parents know weekly, some times daily about the crying all day. I eventually gave them 2 week’s notice. It has been very peaceful and we can do/get a lot more stuff done since he left. Good luck with it all.
Wear the baby. I know some may argue: you wear here she will never learn to sooth herself. There is much evidence to the contrary. Wearing baby, teaches them to sooth themselves and there fore weaning them from the panic of being independent. There are so many AMAZING carriers out there that there you can always find one that you can wear comfortable. I love the BabyHawk. I have had it for years and it works wonders. I certainly haven’t had to wear baby for 4 months to stop the crying.
This is grounds for termination. In your parent’s handbook that every parent must sign should have stated that a child may be terminated if he fails to adjust after a reasonable amount of time. Refer back to your policies and procedures
I absolutely would talk to the parents about it, especially if it has been going on for a while. See what she is like at home, what is different, what works for them. I view our job as a partnership with parents so I am always talking to them about their days and any problems or issues.
I am currently going thru the same situation and unfortunately this hasn’t been my first encounter. Be open with the parents. With my first one, mom went back to work because that’s all he did with her. I took him on a 2 week trial and told her I couldn’t do this. I did continue watching him for a month longer until he could get into another daycare, which was a total of 6 weeks too long. I have one now that I have had since she was 3 months and she is now 9 months except for she has a blood hurdling scream. I was about ready to give her parents a termination notice, but luckily for me, mom is quitting her job to be a stay at home mom. You need to do what is healthy for you and the other children.
I would tell the parents, when I worked in an infant room we had a baby that did that we told the parents to either get it checked out or either find new daycare. They took him in and he had a milk and egg allergy, switched to soy formula and he was a totally different baby. He slept and didn’t spend his days crying.
Has she cried since she was 4 months old? If so, let her go. I had a baby that started with me at 4 months. All he did was cry his first month here…all day long unless I was holding him and only slept 10 mins at a time. He only slept… in the swing. I think he had reflux issues and couldn’t sleep lying flat. He also co-slept with his parents at home, so putting him in a room by himself was definitely out. I told mom, after his first week, that all he did was cry, her response was “I know. He’s spoiled.” I kind of hinted that maybe he wasn’t ready for daycare. Maybe it was too much stimulation and she just said “we’ll see.” So for 3 more weeks we tried, but all he did was cry. He had very poor muscle strength in his legs and an extremely flat head, which mom never mentioned anything about. I had mom bring me blankets and things that smelled like her and that didn’t help. After the next 3 weeks, I told mom that nothing was working to calm him down. I simply could not hold him all day because that caused me to neglect the other children in my care. I asked mom to check in to acid reflux, maybe that was causing him to cry so much. Maybe he was so uncomfortable. I don’t know. But she took offense to it and I never saw her or him again after that day.
I have a 9 month old that cries almost all day. I think it’s because he’s teething, but mom and dad won’t send anything to ease the pain. I just love it when parents dump their crying, teething baby off on me and refuse to give any pain meds, but the first thing they do when they get home is give them a big ole’ does of Tylenol so they don’t have to listen to it.
Doing things and want to move around to I ti d more floor play or excersaucer in the middle of the other kids helps and. When they ate sitting and able to move around d it lessens. Hope something like this helps you
Something is wrong…Tell the parents to take that child to the doctor! It may just be teething but when MY child did that we found out she had a bad ear infection, and it wasn’t pretty…I thought she was gassy…boy was I wrong!!
I had a child like that. I communicated with the parents from the get-go on it. I think open communication is very important because they are the parents after all and should be notified on their child’s behavior when they aren’t around. Thats what your job is for. When this child I watched cried, we talked about what it could be and tried to problem solve it. Eventually it disrupted my day and the other children in my care so I had to term him. I hated to do it but I have to look out for the care and well being of the others in my care too.
I would speak to the parents. Maybe the child is teething? If started introducing solids, maybe that’s upsetting her? There is so many reasons why the baby could be unhappy. And maybe she cries for the parents all the time and they are just afraid to tell you too.
Pointing out a child who is crying and upset to the parents has nothing to do with your daycare looking bad but allowing the child to be unhappy all the time does. I had the same problemwith a baby around the same age when i talked to his mom about it she said when he is at home she buckles him in his carseat and puts him in front of the
If a child is not fitting in with the group and making the days miserable for everyone, especially you, you are the one that has to really deal with it, then I would let them go if talking to the parents and trying to find things that she m…ight like at home are not working. I think we take on enough stress just doing home daycare, adding a crying child ALL day to the mix it too much. My own 14th month old for a while would only calm down to Baby Einstein videos, it wasn’t ideal, but I had to do what I had to do to make the days manageable, he is great now and is an AWESOME sleeper.
I had exactly the same experience as yours at my daycare. She was so clingy and I had always to carry her while she cried nonstop. Plus she kept throwing up every meal. It took me two months talking to her parents until they opened up that she had a reflux problem. They are young parents and living away from their families so didn’t know how to ask questions regarding their daughter’s health and weren’t telling the truth about it with me. I was angry with them, but at the same time I wanted to help them. The kids needed to have surgery and is better now. And she’s still at my daycare. So I’ve learnt that as a Daycare provider, I have to keep talking if there’s any issues relate to the way you care for each child. I don’t like to suffer in silence, because caring for children is already demanding as it is.
I have one that I have had since she was about 8 weeks old and now she’s about 15 months. She cries often during the day as well. A lot of it is because she is an only child and never has to share at home, mom and dad admit to giving into her at home, but when she is here, she doesn’t get her way and she has to share and she isn’t used to it. I started making her take a break on her nap mat every time she cries to the point of being out of control. That has helped a lot. Almost immediately she stops. You can usually tell the difference between a sad or desperate cry, and a i’m so frustrated cause I’m not in control cry. If it really is the former, check with the parents and see how she is at home, see if there has been a change in her home life, ask if there is something she can bring to help sooth her. Sometimes daycare just isn’t the right fit for some kids.
I had one who did the same thing. For sure talk to the parents to see what goes on at home. For me, it was because he was being held, or put in a baby carrier the entire time to keep him from crying. I had to repeatedly say to the parents that doing that was not doing the child, them, or me any favors. Yes, cuddle time is great, but doing it to give in is not.
I would have told the parents four months ago. The child needs more attention, if the baby is fine when our holding it then go about your day with the baby on your hip. If you can’t handle it, the parents should find someone to give her one on one attention while they are at work. if you decide to keep watching the baby, it will grow out of it eventually, just have patience.
I had a child like that, he cried if he wasn’t in my arm or if i wasn’t up in his face was very frustrating, I felt the same way didn’t really want him here. I also had he older brother who was a doll. Things work out that they both left because i was unwilling to meet some of the parents demands. No regrets!!!!
Maybe the baby is teething.In the past 5 years I have already helped raise 5 children since the age of 3 months till they reach 3 and ready for preschool. You just have to have patience and kids that age can’t speak and you just have to go on their cues. Let the parents know and if she is teething have them leave you teething tablets. I just had 2 boys who are now 1 year and 15 months and it was hard but I did have help from my husband. Now my worries are the biting and hitting. Hope you hang in there but if it is stressing you out and cutting time with the other kids, just talk to the parents.
There are so many reasons a baby cries. I found out after 2 months that my baby was being swaddled at night to sleep, she did not sleep here more than a few minutes at a time, after I wrapped her one day and she slept I mentioned it to the parents and that is when I found out the nighttime routine! The brought the swaddle bag the next day and now I have a happy well rested 5 month old and I will continue to swaddle her as long as it takes for her to sleep without it. I will on future interviews with parents add this to my list of questions. Communication with the parents is a very important part of caring for their little ones; don’t wait to voice your concerns. Find out what is happening at home and maybe work together to make it a better time for all. Babies shouldn’t cry all day there has got to be a reason, and I hope you find it soon. Good luck. It is not a fun time for you or your entire group of kiddos.
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